Accidental....husbands?

No I did not go out and get married while no one was looking. Instead I gained a "work husband". I have previously written about accidental friendships and how much they have grown to mean to me and this friendship is no different. I also promised this person that I would dedicate a post just to him. I however will not call him by name. To save his anonymity I will call him Elvis. (Hopefully I have made him smile at this point)

Like I have stated I never actually walk around saying "I am going to make a friend today". It just sometimes happens. And sometimes those friendships are amazing.

Have you ever just met someone and instantly clicked? Well that is NOT what happened between Elvis and I. As a matter of fact I thought we hated each other for the first month or so. Then something happened...he read my blog. Not only did he read it but he liked it. I guess at this point I had to start liking someone who obviously had good taste in reading.

All kidding aside I like his "realness'. He does not beat around the bush and gives it to you straight. We also have more in common than I would have at first thought. I guess looks can really be deceiving huh? He certainly does not look like a "farm kid" until you get to know him. And then he seems to fit right in.

How else can I ramble on about his awesomeness? He never hesitated to give me a ride home in the dark while my car was broken down. He absolutely refused to drop me off on the street corner like "a hooker". Even though the corner was just a short walk to my house. He still insisted on dropping me in the driveway. I am glad that he does not think that I am a hooker. I have worked a very long time to avoid that fate. :)

Now that I have my car back I will kind of miss the evening drives where he would entertain me with some weird version of Name that tune/What's your jam. Apparently in our history of growing up we used to rock to the same jams. Not the same ones as everyone else mind you but the same ones as each other.

Oh and the coolest thing about Elvis.....We share the same birthday! Of course it was my birthday before it was his birthday but for someone as awesome as he is. I think I can share.

Too much of a good thing...

     Lately I have been thinking about the internet. In today's society who DOESN'T think about the internet? Correction I guess people don't really think about it when they use it. And they sometimes forget the consequences that can be involved. The first time that I remember ever using the internet was when I was in high school computer call. My teacher was Rick Durkee. I remember thinking that the internet was the coolest thing because I could find answers to absolutely any question that I had. Shortly there after my best friend, Jen, showed me the wonders of internet chat rooms. I was hooked. The internet has expanded since then. Children are now using computers starting in their preschool classrooms. Aeryn is able to surf the web just as well as I at this point. Sometimes even better. This is all fabulous is it not? It brings to mind how we sometimes can have too much of a good thing. Like eating an entire apple pie instead of just a slice. We are bound to get sick right?

     I have noticed the internet has enabled people to be mean. Meaner than normal and thinking that their meanness does not have consequences. I don't know about you buy I have a really hard time being mean to someone when I am looking right at them. Things like Facebook, and Twitter give you the ability to verbally attack people from the comfort of their couches.

Recently I read a post by a friend on Facebook. He had become a bit disheartened with social networking and was considering deleting his account. This personally would make me sad. I love seeing his very happy, lighthearted posts in the morning. I also enjoy the pictures that he posts of his big beautiful horse Upon further investigation (otherwise known as facebook stalking) I discovered the source of his disdain.  Now as a disclaimer before I continue I would like  to say that I do not know the full story of what happened because I did not see the original posting that he had responded to. I am just a witness to a situation that got out of hand really quickly.

He had read a post on facebook and responded in a private message to the poster The key word in this situation is private. He did not feel that he should melign her publicly where everyone and their brother would be able to read. He however felt that he needed to share his oppinion that he did not agree with what she had originally posted.

The response of the original poster was something that I personally think borders on insane. But really thinking about it. This is what has become normal in todays online social networking society. The response was to attack my friend verbally and try to make him feel horrible about not agreeing with her. Now she did not have the tact to do this in a private message as he did. Instead she did it on her public wall as well as his public wall. She wanted to attract as much attention as she could to the situation and try to gain " the sympathy vote " by trying to question the character of my friend.

Really people? Is this what we have come to? Before social networking this still happened. I am not so naive to believe that this only started happening the minute Facebook came into existence. It did not however, happen at the large scale that it does not.

We are now able to reach millions of people every day with the words that we right. I, personally, try to use my words for good. The pen, or in this case tiny little keyboard that connects to my Ipad, is mightier than the sword and all that. But there are so many cases that people use their words to hurt other. I believe, from experience, that I can handle a punch in the gut a heck of a lot better than I can handle some of the harsh words that have been said to me.

Is this what we are teaching our young people? I teach Aeryn that if she has a problem than she needs to confront it head on. If someone does something to her that hurts her feelings she will get a better response by looking that person in the eye and letting them know that. If I have something really important to say to someone, I certainly do not say it in an email or a text message. And I most certainly do not try to intentionally bash other people with the words that I write.

Now to some of you out there in internet land. It may seem that I was trying to bash the woman who was the original poster. In my defense, I do tend to think harshly of people who intentionally try to hurt my friend be it physically or emotionally. But I do not have a dog in this fight. I am just a bystander and feel the need to observe the fact that social interaction via the internet has become more and more negative.

Recently in the news there was a story about a female new anchor who receive a letter from an person watching her show telling her that she is fat and that she is not a good role model for young women. Really? And what kind of role model is the writer of that letter to our younger generations?

Why has everything gotten so negative? As we make more and more advances on social media sights and networking what will this negativity bring to out society? Feel free to leave me your comments and opinions on this matter.
   

Labor Day Weekend.....

Well with the first week back at school under our belt we got to have a 3 day weekend. Whoopee! Really all this means for me is that I can put in some extra hours at my second job without having to go to the first. Not a bad deal.

However the joy of my weekend was to be able to spend some extra time with the kids cuddling before going to work.

There is no sleeping in in our house. Even on weekends Aeryn is usually up by seven. I am able to lay in bed a little longer if I choose to do so because at 10 she has become quite self sufficient. However I feel guilty about leaving her in the living room by herself. So while Alex slept Aeryn and I curled up on the couch and enjoyed some Netflix.

Since we don't have cable TV time is usually limited. But since Nancy is watching Alex and she needs some new stuff to watch she ordered Netflix. Not a bad deal for us because it gives us new movies to watch as well. Alex, my handsome little man, wakes up between 8 and 9 and immediately demands breakfast. Without a car all of last week and having a full works schedule I did not get much shopping done so supplies were at a bare minimum and instead of something super special for breakfast we had cheerios.

All in all we did not do much for our last hurrah at the end of summer. But that was well and good by us because we got to spend some time with just the three of us. Those moments are worth everything in the world to me.

Getting back to normal...

So it is the end of the first week back at school for Aeryn and I. And boy has it been interesting. But all in all I like being back to work at the school. I enjoy the people that I work with both as coworkers and the students that I influence. It is another semester of Math and Latin. Two subjects and three teachers that I feel very comfortable with. So I could not have asked for a better schedule.

Being back at school and having shifts at Tractor Supply is making me appreciate the time that I spend with my children a little bit more. Yesterday, after coming home from work at the school, I got to sit down on the floor with Alex and play with his matchbox cars. It was very enjoyable. Later that evening I got to sit with Aeryn and watch Glee, and Masterchef two shows that the two of us seem to enjoy together. I got to surprise Aeryn with some homemade chickens soup for dinner a couple of nights ago.

Working two jobs certainly puts things into perspective. Sometimes we have to work just a little bit harder and have more appreciation for the fewer minutes that we have together. But in the end I know that this sacrifice of a little less time now will pay off for my little family.

The beginning.....

So school has started once again. So far, on the start of the third day, Aeryn is loving the fifth grade. So far her teacher seems great. He is young and energetic and just what a boisterous class of fifth graders needs. Though our school district is blessed with two amazing fifth grade teachers so I would have been happy had she been placed in either of the classes. Both teachers seem like they would have been a "good fit" for my precocious little girl.

The start of the school year is always fresh and new. I enjoyed it as a child and I still enjoy it as an adult. The staff all started back at school a day before the kids, and it was nice getting a chance to "catch up" with the people I had not seen in a couple of months. With the exception of Jay, I had not had time to make plans with any of my coworkers this summer. And Jay was kind of a given because of the cows.

Alex stays with my sister Nancy during the day. I am fortunate enough to have a wonderful family willing to help out when I am not quite where I need to be. She and Robert do a great job of keeping the little man entertained. He also gets to spend time with Mamaw (Thanks AmberMae for teaching him this gem), and Auntie Ev in the evenings when I have to work at my second job.

Yes once again I am working a second job. However the benefits to this one are way better than my last one. I work at a local farm supply company. Good for me because not only do they pay me to work there, but I get a discount off the price of grain as well. I like this perk. When you can save a couple dollars a bag it makes a huge difference.

I am looking forward to a productive year for myself and my children. I love watching Alex grow and watching Aeryn blossom into herself. I will work harder now to keep everyone updated.

The comfort of technology...

I spend a lot of time in my day thinking about technology. How is has made some things easier and some things more difficult. I have days when I relish the thought of shutting everything off and "unplugging" and also days when I can think of nothing but being online and sharing things with my friends far away.

I have discovered this week one thing that technology has been good for. Last Sunday I sent Aeryn off to camp for the first time with the plan of her being gone for two weeks. This will be the longest span of time my little girl and I have ever been apart. Something we were both excited for and fearful about at the same time.

However, I have found some comfort. Every evening around six o'clock I have been able to log onto Facebook and see the pictures that the camp has posted from the previous day. So far I have seen my little girl swimming, dancing, getting a full body paint job and lot of other things. I am comforted by the fact that I know she is having fun and meeting new people.

During this week I have spent lots of time with Alex. What a precocious little toddler he is! Since we both came home from the fair with nasty colds we have spent a lot of time cuddling watching movies and drinking juice.

He is turning into such an interesting little character. This morning he danced when he saw that I was cooking bacon. He tears the house apart just as fast as I can pick it up while at the same time makes me laugh my tush off. I am sure the poor dog is going to be happy when Aeryn comes home because Aeryn provides a bit of protection from Alex's attentions.

Time flies...

Recently it has hit me that somehow my daughter has grown up and is no longer the little girl that she once was. How did this happen? Of course I know the biology of it. And I know that eventually she had to grow up. But why do I feel so blindsided by it? It seems like only yesterday that she was the size of Alex. Now she is turning into this beautiful young girl that I am very proud of.

She has always acted a bit older for her age. And she can hold a conversation with educated adults without batting an eyelash. I guess I just expected her to depend on me a little bit longer than she has....It won't be long before I will be dealing with the problems involved with having a teenager. This girl is more stubborn and hardheaded than I was at that age and that scares me a bit. It took me a while to grow into my attitude. She was born with hers. 

Summertime and the living is....

Crazy. Mr Gershwin certainly lived in a completely different time period because there is nothing "easy" about summertime. Granted I don't have to report into the high school in the morning. But I do have to report in for full time mommy duty. Which turns out to be both a blessing and a curse.

Summer is just jam packed with all of the amazing things that we do not have time to do during the rest of the year. There will be cattle shows, and summer camp, swimming lessons, horseback riding lesson....The list is endless. And these are just activities for Aeryn! I don't know what I would do if I had to balance in activities for Alex as well. Not that he will be getting left out. Oh no. There will be plenty of mommy and Alex time this summer as well.

This year is the first year that I will be considering letting my child go off to over night camp by herself. It's a bit scary. In the past ten years there have not been many times when Aeryn and I have been apart. And during the times we have been apart she has been with Evelyn and Paul or with my mother. Sending her off to camp seems like such a HUGE step! But I know she can handle it. Somehow, wonder of wonders, I have raised this bright, funny, bubbly, friendly little girl. She will be able to go out and conquer whatever Summer Camp has to offer.

But will I be able to conquer being without her? It is times like these that make me think that my little girl is a wee bit stronger than her mommy. And it makes me smile.

New Experience...Old Style....(Part 3 of 3)

 We worked until almost dark that first day. The moon was just a sliver in the fading daylight sky. One of the most beautiful sights that I have ever seen was the sunlight fading behind Mt. Ascutney as I sat next to the pool and watched Aeryn frolic in the water. It was the part of the day that she had been most looking forward to. Well that and s'mores cooked at the bon fire that evening. I couldn't help, but laugh at the aquatic antics of my friends as they had a good time at the end of a long day.





Hundreds of years ago people did what we did, on a larger scale out of necessity. There was simply no machinery available to make the barn building process any easier. Farmers needed barns, so the neighbors helped to build then. More farmers needed wood and neighbors would come help out. The word community actually had a meant something to people. These days I kind of wonder. I also wonder about the reasons why our society has gotten to be the way that it is today.

Why are we afraid to help our neighbor? And if we are not afraid, why do we just refuse to do it? Have we lost  touch with that part of humanity?

For the weekend of the barn raising Jay raised an invitation and we answered. Kira came from Colorado to be a participant in this event. The rest of us came from parts of New Hampshire, and Vermont. The weekend of the Wood Bee an invitation was made, and answered. Now I am not sure where every one came from, but I do know that the 4-Hers that I spent the day with all came from a drive that was over an hour away. 

Strangers coming together for a common goal....

New Experiences...Old Style...(Part 2 of 3)

The whole crew sitting in the loft at the end of the first day. I chose to stay on the ground. One of the advantages to being the one holding the camera. 

As I look through the literally hundreds of pictures that I took the first day of the barn raising the thing that jumps out at me the most is the amount of fun that everyone is having. There is no doubt about the amount of work being done and yet the atmosphere is so relaxed an happy that everyone was able to have a good time. 

Aeryn and Mo ended up popping two can's of soda....

 The week before the barn raising had been crazy for me personally. And I know that it was probably the same for a few other people involved as well. The majority of us work in the education field and there are only a couple of more weeks before the school year ends. So basically every one gets to rush around like a chicken with their head cut off. At one point I had mentioned on Facebook that "to relax on the weekend I would be at a  barn raising." A few of my friends scoffed at the idea that a day of hard work would be in any way relaxing. Boy were they wrong.

Kira helped to make one of Aeryn's dreams come true ...

Unfortunately one of the down falls of my job is that I work in an environment where the atmosphere can change from positive to negative pretty quickly. It is more emotionally and mentally exhausting than physically exhausting. Sometimes that can wear on a person more than the physical and it makes things rough at times. I know that after a long day at work going to the gym, or working with the cows, is a great release for me. So it turns out that this was exactly what my children and I needed to just let go and be happy for a weekend.

Lilly is easily one of Aeryn's favorite people!

 There are so many things going on everybody's lives right now. This provided us with a way to just forget everything else that was going on and just enjoy being alive. I met some really cool people. Three of which are amazing women that my daughter can learn many things from. As much as I encourage her to be her own person I want her to also be able to see good examples of strong, independent, women. I don't always feel that I am displaying the best example. So it is nice to have a few others.

 Some how it all leads back to the fact that "...It takes a village..."

New Experiences....Old Style...(Part 1 of ?)

Hundreds of years ago when a building needed to be built. Neighbors all got together and it was done. While the men worked, the women would be off to the side making sure that there was enough food to feed the hungry masses. Horses pulled wood, and men used handsaws and measuring tapes to cut pieces of wood. There were no power tools to break the serenity of the moment with their high pitched whine. Larger pieces would be assembled on the ground and then raised into position using the man power at hand. This is something that I would have like to see. Man working with man to accomplish a common goal. Once again, thanks to a great friend, I was able to experience something as close to this as we could get these days.

The sun rose early and hot on the morning of May 26, 2012. I knew as the kids and I left the house at 7:30 that it was going to be a scorcher. Aeryn, Alex and I were headed to meet up with Jay, Lilly, and Kira for breakfast before we headed out for the Long View Farm Barn Raising. Jay had been toiling away for months in the top of his father's barn getting beams notched and cut to fit together in an elaboration jigsaw puzzle of framework that would turn in to a barn to be used as a landing spot for hay and sleigh-rides. We had watched him along the way. It was such an awesome process! I had never seen anything like that done before. 

Breakfast was wonderful, but all too soon it was time to start gathering supplies and heading down to where Jay had already built the floor. Jay headed to his dad's barn to get some things with the truck, Lilly, Alex, Aeryn and I started walking down the road to feed cows along with way. And Kira took the four wheeler. Along the way Kira asked if Aeryn could jump on the back of the four wheeler. How could I possibly deny that pleading look my child gave me? Off she flew leaving Lilly, Alex and I to feed cows. It was okay. Lilly had not gotten the chance to play with them anyway. 

Before long the four of us were standing around the barn looking at it. Soon more friends arrived. With the arrival of Med, Mo, and their beautiful dog Dixie (who did a great job of keeping McKinley company), the first and second pieces were lifted into place.....

Okay so if only it were that easy. I have much respect for anyone who still builds this way. Seriously I will be the first to admit that I had NO CLUE what I was doing. However, I take direction well, and that is how I spent my day. Before Med and Mo arrived we had this wonderful idea of trying to do it ourselves. I am al for "girl power" but there was NO WAY that three women and Jay, who happens to be a reasonably strong guy, were lifting this first piece. Aeryn however was able to get a couple of nice pictures that show that we made a really good attempt!

It was a GREAT attempt. It just was not happening. I had no idea how we were going to get this giant thing that weight about 500lbs into the air in an upright position without killing someone. Before the lift Jay pointed out all of the "danger zones". Coincidentally we all seemed to be standing directly in them. However, I had faith in the ability of man to work together as a cohesive team. That was my mantra throughout the day..."man is a cohesive team". I would like to think that it worked. 

However after Mo and Med arrived it really did go up much easier. With no casualties! It was a pretty proud moment seeing it standing vertically. I felt sure that it was anchored and braced safely because I let Aeryn climb into this picture as my replacement for the lifting crew. Though I am looking at it now and realizing that Mo is not in there either. That's okay there were plenty of great photo ops throughout the day and Mo was in quite a few of them. 

 I know what you are thinking...It is absolutely beautiful! Of course that is what you were thinking. I looked at this lone piece standing there for a long time and could not fathom how this structure was going to turn into a barn It is a testament to shear intelligence. As much as Jay would like to take the credit for that intelligence, I am sure, I give it to the guy who invented the post and beam style stucture. Who looks at a tree and says "Oh, if I make cuts here, here and here and put the pieces together like so, I have a building!"? Really? Who thinks like that? Certainly not this girl. I see a tree and I think "oooh pretty....."

 Now here is the other thing that you are thinking...That all of these pieces are held together with a bunch of really strong nails and glue. Nope! Each piece is specially designed to take into account weight and force, and is held together by wooden pegs. No nails!?! Another moment of genius for the post and beam guy.

Up goes the second piece. By this time we were feeling like pros! There is an amazing sense of accomplishment when it comes to making something like this with your own hands. But I can not imagine what it would have been like to do this out of necessity. Now people have the help of so many technological advances to do the job for them. When we want a barn we call some people and they take some prefabricated panels and stick them together and call it a day. There is no heart or soul to a prefabricated building.



The process was longer. The work was harder, but I think the end result is going to be well worth it. I guess you will just have to wait and see.....

The Greatest Man...

Lately I have been thinking a lot about my father. Simple little things remind me of him all the time. Listening to this song in the car the other day. And today hearing the strains of big band music filtering in the resource room windows. I had an amazing father and still love him dearly. I wish he could be here to see what wonders my children and Evelyn's children have become. He has been gone almost ten years and so many things have happened that he would be proud of.

But I guess the real reason for me to think about him was the phone call that I received the other day. It was not about my father, but about Alex's. I have promised myself that I would never be negative about the father of either of my children and in this post I am going to honor and stay true to that. However, his best friend called me the other day to get my reaction to his coming back to the area. 

Honestly, it is not something that I ever thought I would have to think about. And I can not honestly say how I will feel. I truly loved him at one point, and would love for him to be a part of his son's life. But not if it is going to cause any kind of drama. My children do not need drama. I honestly do not understand how the parents with shared custody handle it. I could not imagine spending any time away from my children and I guess this is what scares me the most. In the past year and a half I have spent very few nights away from my children. As a matter of fact I think that the only time that have been separated from Alex was the night that I spent in the hospital. How will I handle it if Ryan chooses to press for visitation and taking Alex over night?

The other thing that I fear is either of my children feeling like they are unloved. I was adopted when I was younger. Which means that raising me was a choice. Someone CHOSE to love me. And there was never a moment growing up where I ever doubted the love of my parents. Even when we did not always agree. How can I guarantee that my children will always feel the same way?

I guess this post is kind of a downer. Now the happiness that I usually try to project. I guess we can not all be happy all the time. But do not doubt that my happiness is here. Thinking of my father DOES make me happy. There are so many memories that I have that he and I shared together.

We used to camp a lot. And I remember waking up early with him and walking down to the blueberry patch to pick berries for pancakes. I remember the turkeys that he used to roast in a hole in the ground. I remember the way he used to laugh. And his smile. Is it too much to want my children to have memories like these? 

How much wood.....

A couple of months ago I heard the term "Wood Bee" out of my friends mouth. He was apparently planning one and asked if I wanted to come. At the time I had no idea what he was talking about but he was perfectly patient in explaining what he had planned. He had been training his team of horses to haul logs out of the woods. So with the help of DAPNet, he wanted to bring together teams of horses to pull in logs to be cut, split and stacked to provide wood for a neighbor. How fabulous an idea was this!?! I was so impressed that without hesitation I said that I would be there. 

The couple that the wood was intended for are amazing people. The man, Ted, recently turned 84. I am pretty sure that he would have cut and split all this wood himself had we not had people volunteer to help. He just seems like that type of man. The kind that realizes that something needs to be done, and does it without hesitation. I had met them when I house sat for my friend over the summer. Ted and his wife Nancy, were so kind and welcoming of my children and I. Until then I had lived in a world where neighbors did not really care about neighbors. It was truly an eye opening experience.

On Saturday May 19, the kids and I woke up bright and early. Everyone was scheduled to be there at 9 so Aeryn and I wanted to make sure we were there early enough to get the cows fed and settled down. With that done we walked down to the horse pasture where we were sure people were going to be meeting. The back of the pasture was lined with stock trailers. There, being tacked up, were two teems of oxen, and three teams of horses. There was also a single horse, and I knew that Jay would also be going to get his own team too. All in all six teams and a single were going out into the woods today. It was an amazing site to see. 

Once everything got start it ran so smoothly I do not know how well I can describe it. The horses (and oxen) pulled in the logs to a landing that had been set up to process the wood. There a well equipped, (and well managed) team cut the logs, sorted between kitchen wood and furnace wood, and ran the furnace wood through the splitter before tossing it into the back of a waiting truck. When the trucks were full they were backed to the appropriate area where I was waiting with some children to unload and stack it all. The children were that of a local family that came to help as well as a few 4-H kids from Aeryn's group. 

It was such a tiring, amazing day. We managed to bring in 5 chords of wood! Most of it ended up being split and stacked, but there is still a bit left. 

I strolled through the cow pasture today. Where they had pulled the logs through. And you would never have known that they had been there had you not seen it for yourself. There were no noisy, smog making machines to tear up the earth that provides the grass for our cows. There was virtually no sign that anything out of the ordinary had happened. Honestly readers, if you ever need log work done around your yard, this is the way to go! Whenever I drive past an area that is being cleared I want to cry for the damage that is being done to our Earth. It also makes me wonder what damage is being done to our society. 

It was one of those times that makes me realize that it really does "take a village". Somewhere along the way we have lost our sense of community. We no longer help our neighbors and barely take heed to the fact that they may need a little extra help. When people are in trouble we lock our doors, and hide behind our curtains as we nosily try to find out exactly what is going on. How did our society as a whole get this way?

This is not the way that I want my children raised. I want them to know that it is okay to help those in need. If more people were willing to put in a hard days work to help one another, we would not have the time nor the energy for all of the bickering and squabbling going on. 

I would like to thank my friend, Jay for including me in this event. Never will I hesitate when I get invited to another. And I certainly hope that he plans more in the future....

Idle hands.....

What is that saying? "Idle hands are the devil's tools?" Something like that right? I am sorry if I misquoted. The hands of a working single mother are certainly never idle. Lately it seems that no part of me is idle. I go from work, to feed cows, to softball, and then eventually am able to get home. 

Softball season is one of my favorite seasons. (second only to soccer season) Aeryn loves to plan and this year she is lucky enough to have "King Paul" as her coach. She is very happy with this. It is only every other year that she gets to be on a sports team with Grace since they are in different grades at school. This is the year. I love watching her skills develop and it certainly makes the time and effort worth it to see her smile. 

April was such a busy month I hardly had time to keep up with coursework, let alone blog. Aeryn turned 10 at the end of the month. A HUGE milestone for me as a parent. It seems like only yesterday that I looked into her eyes for the first time. And yet here she is, hard headed, opinionated and obstinate, just like her mother.

Meanwhile on the Alex front...Boy is raising a little boy different than my little girl. It seems like every diaper change is turning into a wrestling match. Though he is showing and interest in using the potty so maybe potty training will come sooner than expected. I certainly hope so. He is also louder, messier and far more active that Aeryn ever was. Or maybe it just seems that way. It seems like he is always into something, or eating something that he shouldn't be eating. Everything is delicious to this little boy. 

And even with all of my griping. Life is good. There is nothing that makes me happier than spending time with my kiddos. I know that in the future they will be happy and well adjusted individuals. And no matter how busy they keep me, it makes every second worth it. These hands are certainly no tool for the devil.

Spring time...

Softball season has started, and this at least is a sport that I can enjoy. Unlike basketball, which I do not enjoy, and did not realize that my child had developed skill in until the very last game. I should have been paying closer attention. Having an athletic child leads to a very busy life. But it is all worth it. Aeryn is luck enough this season to be coached by her favorite uncle who she calls, King Paul . This also means that she gets to be on the same team as Grace. Which could lead to some drama later in the season but I certainly hope not.

The daylight is lasting longer and I find that Aeryn is having a harder time getting to bed on time because of the lasting daylight. She just wants to stay up and enjoy the daylight when really she should be getting rest for school the next day. It makes me happy that we are getting closer and closer to the end of the school year.

There are already so many things that we will have to fit in this summer. Aeryn will be participating in a summer school program to increase her reading fluency. Or if not increase it, at least to avoid the "summer slide". Though she is still a bit behind in her grade level reading wise she is coming along great now that we have narrowed down where the difficulties are. We will also be training animals all summer long and having lots of quality family time. I had wanted to fit in some camping this summer but it looks like the only camping that I will be doing is at cattle shows. Aeryn would really like to go to four but I do not know if we are going to be able  to fit them all in.

Life itself feels really good right now. My children are happy, and I believe that I am happy as well. We look forward to the coming holiday in which I will get to cook a big meal and we wills it and gorge ourselves until we can not move. I will get to run, jump, and play with the kids. Maybe even take our bikes out for a bit.

Accidental friendships....

I have come to realize that not all friendships are the same. They come in different shapes, colors and sizes. Some are easy to just toss away like a stinky pair of sneakers and others are like that stretched out comfy sweatshirt that you just cant get rid of. Some friendships are started with the conscious thought "How can I be friends with this person? I should be friends with this person". Usually this thought goes along with figuring out just what being friends with that person could get you. There are those friendships that happen because they are expected. And then there are my favorite kind of friendships. The accidental ones.

The accidental ones are those friendships that you had no intention of having. But turn out to be so much fun that you do not know what you would do without them. Feeling like you have known someone for years and imagining the things that you can do together for many years to come. Those are the friendships that I like best. Hopefully those people who I cherish this highly know who they are.

One of my friends is allowing me to achieve a goal for my children that I did not think possible. And my children are getting more out of this experience than I ever expected. I have always known that I wanted to raise my children in a rural setting, around people who cared not just for themselves but for those around them. I want them to have solid, strong role models. The kind that will teach my children to be fearless and that anything is achievable if you put your mind to it. No matter how many times I say these things they are never quite as believable as when they are said by someone else.

I am watching Aeryn turn into this amazing little girl. Not that she was not amazing before. But there is something different now. A month ago she was afraid of ladders, now she scrambles up the ladder into the hay loft without a seconds hesitation. She does not whine or complain when being asked to do something to get the pasture ready for her cows to come home. (Of course this could be because she gets to ride on the back of a 4-wheeler)

Tonight I watched her trek her way to the back of the horse pasture where Lee, Zeke, Spotty (I hope that is his name), Zack, and Lola are. She was not alone of course. Yet she is the one that I had my eyes on. She did not have a care in the world. I could tell that she was chatting away about something. Her little body bounced with every step she took. Then came the horses. She moved closer to her companion as the ground shook. The sound of hooves sounded like thunder rolling through the air. And then she turned and I could see the absolute joy on her face.

This really is the kind of life I want for my kids. To be surrounded by good people, fantastic animals. This is the place where dreams are made and achieved. With the right tools, anything is possible.

All because of an accidental friendship.

I speak for the trees....

Last night was fantastic! Thank you Evelyn and Paul for having an anniversary which provided me with another opportunity to hang out with two out of three of your children. (I would have loved to have had the third one there as well but he was camping)

I took Aeryn, AmberMae, Grace, and My mother to see The Lorax. We had been waiting for it to come to the cheap theater near home. I had been a little hesitant to see it as I believe that Dr. Seuss is just something that you do not mess with. (I was not really impressed with The Cat in the Hat). However I really enjoyed this movie. I also enjoyed the time with family.

AmberMae pointed out that they have spent three out of the last four weekends at my house. It has been great. I am hoping to get out today with the four kids and ride our bikes. Though as I look out the window now, it looks a little dark and gloomy. So, it may just be a movie day inside.

I am thinking about surprising them with pancakes when they wake up. Only I can not remember if they like pancakes. That could be problematic. I guess I will just wait a little while and see what happens.

Feeling a little sluggish....

And again my poor blog has been neglected. And there has been so much going on to blog about! Bad me! I blame my IPad. Okay so really it is probably just my lazyness. Though I hardly ever get on an actual computer before. And I have not yet found a "Blogger" app for my IPad that I am fully satisfied with yet. Though it has made my life easier in a few other places.

So I am feeling a bit sluggish this week. I had set up a good schedule going to the gym and working out three or four times a week. However this week my mom was not feeling up to keeping the kids. So without a baby sitter, I have not gone to the gym and today I am feeling like crap for that reason. I really have to get outside today at some point and do SOMETHING.

We had vacation from school this week which meant no work for me! Hurray! This is both a blessing and a curse. I love being able to have a job where I get to spend school vacations with my children doing lots of fun family stuff. But I forget sometimes, how hard being a stay at home mommy is. It makes me appreciate the ability to get out and work. I love my children dearly, but on vacations I miss being at work.

Alex is walking now, or better yet, running. He has decided to take the whole "walking" process at full speed and barrels into everything. He usually falls down, looks around, laughs, and gets up do repeat the whole process. He thinks he is such a hot shot now that he is a bi-ped. However his new maneuverability limits the time I am able to knit. And I am pretty sure Aeryn is sick of hearing "Quick, catch your brother".

Alex had a WIC appointment not too long ago and he weighed in at a whopping 25 lbs and was 30 inches long. That means he is already half the weight of his sister! The nutritionist says that he is a very healthy and happy little boy. He is in the 90th percentile for both height and weight. Just a naturally big kid! I am blessed to have both of these marvelous children in my life. As I type this Aeryn is laying IN Alex's pack and play along with him reading him a book. I think he is more interested in just cuddling with his sister than what she is reading but it is a sweet thing to see. Loving these babies of mine!

It's all about the dolphins.....

Every year I hear people making New Year's resolutions that they are going to lose weight and eat better...They try it for two weeks or so and then completely give up. I would like to say that I have not made these things a New Year's resolution. I have made them a life choice. I am now almost two weeks into my program and not feeling the urge to give up just yet. In order to change my life I have joined two things, a gym, and Weight Watchers. Both are proven weight loss techniques. I have seen them work for so many people. Now I want to customize them to work for me.

Three times a week Nancy , Robert and I go into Keene and spend an hour at Fit Nation. If any of you are looking for a good gym, this one fits the bill. The staff is friendly and helpful, they are affordable and the atmosphere is comfortable. Nancy and I have become "work out buddies" each encouraging the other to push a little harder, and go a little farther than we normally would by ourselves. This kind of encouragement is definitely going to help both of us in our weight loss/fitness goals.


I am coming to love my time at the gym. So far it has proven to not only be healthy but to be a great tension reliever as well. There is nothing like going seven miles on a stationary bike followed by two miles on a treadmill to make a person relax a little. I have been bringing my IPad with me. I am able to just put on some music and read a book while I am walking or bicycling. This completely takes my  mind off how long I have been on the machine or how far I have gone until I complete my allotted time for the session. My next session is going to be Friday and my goal is to go 10 miles on a bike in a matter of 30 minutes. I am going 7.2 miles in 20 minutes so I feel that if I push myself just a little bit harder I can easily make my goal of 10 miles.

On one of our first couple nights I was talking to a friend about the endorphins that are released into your system during a good workout. Nancy, thought that I had said dolphins. So now it is fun to tell people that we are heading out to train our dolphins when in actuality we are off to kick our behinds at the gym.

I feel that for me, this is one of the best life goals that I can make right now. I was getting very complacent with my life, my food choices, and my inactivity due to my busy schedule. I have learned that I do not want to be that person. I want to be able to have the energy to play with my kids. I don't want to be tired all the time. And I desperately do not want to have to back on medication to handle the bouts of depression that I sometimes feel. Hopefully the physical activity will help me alleviate all of these problems. I guess we will just have to see as the time comes.

Who your friends are...

So it was brought to my attention that I had not posted in a while. And as I look back, yes, it has been a while. So Kelsey, this one is for you.

It has taken me a long time to learn who my friends are. And who they are not. The latter, believe it or not, is the harder of the two for me to figure out. But I can say that I am finally at a point in my life that I know who mine are. And they are people that I love dearly.

Last semester at school was especially trying for me. I just could not seem to get my act together. But there were a few parts of my day that I could always look forward to. I like getting to school early (Something I learned on those car rides in with Inge when my truck was broken). I am able to stop in and see the people that make me smile before the day actually starts. Before Jen had her baby I would stop and see her and then go see Jay before the bell rang. First block Latin was rough, but it was buffered by the fact that I got to spend second block with Kelsey.

Second block was my favorite part of the day. Not because I did not have a class to be in, but because Kelsey was assigned to the resource room. This girl has become such an inspiration to me while at the same time being my biggest cheerleader. And I love her for it. She is always there to listen when I have a problem and cheers whenever my kids do anything remotely exciting. For those of you who can not think of a person like this in your live, go get yourself one. But stay away from Kelsey, she is mine.

So as I sit here. It strikes me as funny that we teach our children in Kindergarten that everyone is there friend. This is so untrue. Everyone is not my friend and I do not like being forced into a situation where I have to say they are. Isn't that lying? And isn't that something we tell our children is innately wrong? Maybe my oppinion is a little bit off here. But I have watched Aeryn progress through school, and I have seen how mean some of these kids can be. And there are kids that I am actually happy that Aeryn is NOT friends with. Never would I want her to be friends with someone who intentionally hurts someone physically or mentally. And that is what is done every day.

So it makes me happy to know that I have a solid base of friends. And I am teaching her to build on as well. I want her to find someone as amazing as my BFF Jen, who is like a sister to me, or as wonderful as Kelsey, as kind as Peggy, as enlightening as Jay, or as funny as Rob. Without these people. I would not be able to make it through the day. And for them I am thankful.

Pig Shopping with my MaeMae....

For Christmas, some of you know, I got MaeMae a pig. It made me the coolest auntie ever. And since I got to spend some amazing time with AmberMae and Grace today along with my own two children MaeMae and I decided that we should start thinking about to get ready for when the pig gets to come home.

Sir Bacon Bottom and Delicious are going to be the most well loved, and spoiled pigs ever in existence. Hopefully the extra love and attention that they will be getting will make them taste that much better.

In my family, I have always been the farm girl. Evelyn was never one for farm animals or farm work. In her opinion the smell was always nauseating. Which for some people it is. It is just a matter if personal preference I guess. I have always been most comfortable around a farm. There is nothing like the smell of warm corn silage or fresh hay. These are comforting smells.

It did not surprise me when Aeryn turned into a little farm girl. But the fact that MaeMae is turning out to be a farm girl in hiding really surprises me. It is something that I did not expect. Of course  MaeMae is always throwing us a little off balance anyway because that is just the way she is. She calls it her "Awesomeness". More people should have half the self confidence that this amazing young girl has. Think of the things that could get done in the world...

So MaeMae and I strolled around Tractor Supply today taking inventory of the things that we would need and the prices that they would cost. She enjoyed the trip as much as I did. Who knew that strolling through the tractor store would be such bonding experience. She also put in an order for a Carhartt jacket. I may have to work on that as a Christmas present for next year.

I guess throughout the Summer I will have to keep everyone updated on our adventures in pig farming. For now, MaeMae is telling me we have more research to do before she has to leave.

Don't Count Your Chickens.....

Many of you reading the title of this post will think that I am about to write about an experience where I got my hopes up about something and then had them crushed. Well fortunately you would be wrong. I am actually going to talk about  chickens. And counting them. It kind of makes the title self explanatory.

During the summer I got to house sit for a friend. We moved into the house at the beginning of July and lived there for a month. Aeryn was very excited about doing this because my friend had chickens that she was going to be able to take care of. Aeryn, a little girl who loves animals beyond belief, could not wait to learn about chickens. Unfortunately my friend had to break the news to us when we got there that some predator had gotten a hold of his chickens and they would not need to be taken care of. Aeryn was devastated. So devastated in fact that my friend told her that she could buy some chickens to put into his chicken coop.Thanks Friend! (Please not my sarcasm)

Guess where I was the following morning....At Cheshire Horse purchasing six of the cutest little chickens that you could ever see. They were Golden Comet chicken. Apparently a hybrid between a Rhode Island Red and a Rhode Island white. Good laying hens. Or so I was told.

 My darling farmer girl went from cattle farmer to chicken farmer immediately. She loved those cute little chicks and marveled at the changes that occurred in them every day. She even loved them during what she called their "ugly" stage where they were half feathery and half fuzzy and you could just not tell what was going to happen.

My friend came home, and we moved back to our apartment but our chickens stayed in their coop. Every time Aeryn would go to visit them I would be surprised at how quickly they came to the sound of her voice. Something which made her eyes light up every time. Her chickens remembered her. (Smart birds!)

Unfortunately in the fall something hot one of the chickens, and then this morning I found out that it had now taken  three more. So I get to go home and tell Aeryn that she is down to two remaining chickens. Hopefully once she hears the plan that I am starting to set into motion she will not be nearly as depressed as I think she is going to be upon hearing the news.

As a bit of back ground, I have a feeling that my child is going to end up in some sort of animal science profession. She is most at home with animals and has a smooth, natural, calm nature about her when she is with them. It just fits. Lately she has been asking more and more about breeding, and cross breeding and genetics. Of course she does not know the technical terms yet for what she is asking. But her questions show a thinking beyond that of an average nine year old. She is already talking about breeding different types of cows for different qualities and has lately started to ask about chickens as well. She realizes that somehow she would be able to get an ideal breed that will be able to both lay good eggs, and produce a good quality meat.

So today, while on my free block, I have been researching chickens. I have found a local (well somewhat local) hatchery that sells fertilized eggs and think that it might be a good idea for Aeryn to incubate her own. This way she can keep a journal about the chickens. We can tag them and she can weight and measure them and keep track of their growth rate and egg production. She would like to be able to cross breed the chickens for ideal traits. Silly girl and her scientific thinking.

I guess we will see how things turn out.

Online dating.....

Okay so before I delve too far into this post I would like to reassure some of my readers that I have not transcended into the world of online dating. At least not fully. I have a friend, who shall remain nameless, who recently signed up for a site called OK Cupid. It is a completely free site (to reassure those of you who think that I have sunk to the depths of paying an obscene amount of money to find a date.) and it is a bit unconventional compared to the other dating sites out there.

The part that attracted me, that my friend knew would attract me, were the funny questions that you get asked and then paired up with your match over. Some examples include but are not limited to: Which of the two would be your preference: A lifetime supply of your favorite snack food or a 30-minute orgasm?? or Would you date someone who was currently in a relationship, knowing that you would "be a secret?".

Seriously folks, you should have seen the matches that they were sending me to. Many of you know that over the years I have switched back and forth on the stance of online dating. And I will admit that it has worked for some. But I do not believe that it will work for me. Granted. I have someone who I am interested in at the moment who I did NOT meet online and that could be a big influence on my oppinion.

However I know that there are relationships out there who started out as long distance, online relationships and ended working out really well. To these people, congratulations. I don't know how you did it but I am glad that you are happy. 

And that, my friends, is  my rant this morning about online dating. Not a rant really. Just a few thoughts. I may have to continue these later. When it is not quite so early in the morning. 

My poor lonely blog...

My poor lonely blog. I have let life get the best of me lately and have been neglecting it a bit. January is such a busy month for us. We have "The Week of Perpetual Cake". This would be the third week in January, where we celebrate my birthday, Paul. Jr's birthday, AmberMae's birthday and mom's birthday. And last year I added Alex's birthday right into the middle of the week.

Yes, that is right, this past Wednesday my amazing little man turned 1! I sit here and ask myself "Where did the year go?". It seems like only yesterday that Evelyn and I were crying together as we admired my precious little man. Having a son has been so much different than having a daughter. Aeryn at this age was calm and cute and sweet. Alex is like a firecracker. As soon as you light that fuse he is off and booming from the moment he wakes up until the moment he falls asleep. I certainly am one blessed mommy to have both of these wonderful children.

 I am also blessed to have these two, though they are no longer children. Beautiful, spirited AmberMae has just turned 12 and Handsome, precocious Paul is now 14. It seems like just yesterday that Evelyn was bringing THEM into the world. I am not sure what I would do without them in my life. They make the world  very interesting.

This past weekend we enjoyed a Manchester Monarchs hockey game. It was a lot of fun. Paul, as a birthday party, got to take five of his friends. Mom, Aeryn, and I tagged along as my birthday gift from Evelyn and Paul. And what an amazing gift it was. I can just say that driving a car from Walpole to Manchester with Aeryn, Amber and Grace in the back seat is VERY eventful. Especially since AmberMae made me think that the boys who were in the van got to have a whole bunch of candy and the girls did not get any. Silly Auntie Chelle stopped at the store and got some, only to find out later that Amber may have "embelished" the ammount of  candy that the boys actually had.

 Aeryn and Grace have not really been represented yet so I figured I would as these shots that they took on our way to the hockey game. The two of them together is usually a comical event. They seem to bounce of each others personality and compliment the other. That is of course when they are not going for each other's throats. The latter is usually a rarity however and I love the times we all get to spend together.

No rest for the weary...

So unfortunately I have been under the weather all week this week. It has really put a kibosh to my blogging for a few days. But now I am back, feeling a bit better and thanking my stars that I really do have wonderful children and a wonderful family.

Being sick is never a fun thing. Being sick and being a single parent is even worse. There may be sick days from my job but there are no sick days from parenting. I stayed home from work Friday. As luck would have it Aeryn was also sick. And because the baby sitter was not feeling well I kept Alex with me as well. There unfortunately, is no resting on the couch when you have an almost one year old saying "eat! eat!". That would be Alex's new favorite saying. Today he saw my mother in her kitchen doing dishes and started to yell "eat! eat!". Apparently he thinks that any time Grammy goes to the kitchen she is supposed to come back with something for him to snack on. Silly little boy.

Now that we are all feeling better it is time to tackle the month of January. We have a bazillion (6) birthdays to celebrate all in the course of a couple of weeks. The one that is most prevailing in my mind is that of Alex. My adorable little man is going to be a year old this month. I can hardly believe it. Where did the time go? It seems like just yesterday I was looking into those warm brown eyes for the first time. It just shows how quickly time goes by and how much we have to cherish what we have. We have to find every little ray of sunshine and hold on to it with a force that could move the world. I know that I cherish mine. And even on the days when I am sick and still trying to juggle life, I would not trade it for anything in the world.

The above song is one of my favorites at the moment. Not for the song itself. But for what it has come to mean to my family. I first heard this song when I was pregnant with Alex. I played it over and over in the car. Then all of a sudden I realized that Aeryn was singing along just as much as I was. Now it has become the song for her and Alex. 

She sang this song to my belly every chance she got. And now whenever we are singing to Alex at bed time this is the first song she chooses. It makes me smile when I think of the love that she has for her "Baby Bro" as she likes to call him.

I only hope that she still feels this way when they are older. For now I will just enjoy the moment. And listen to my girlie sing. 

Bring it on 2012.....

Happy New Year everyone! I am so excited for my first blog post of 2012. 

2012 is going to be the best year ever for my children and me. I am not going to leave it any other choice. In talking to my BFF (Who sadly is on the West Coast) we both decided that this is the year that we are going to take what we want and live life to the fullest. If people want to be a part of my story, they are more than welcome. If not...it is there loss. 

I had a wonderful day with my kids. An amazing dinner with my mom and look forward to a peaceful  night. 

2011 is behind us. I leave no regrets. A few sad memories, but the happy ones by far outweigh them. I started and ended the year a single woman. Only this year, it does not bother me nearly as much as it did last year. I am more sure of myself this year. I know now that I CAN do this on my own. (Well not completely on my own. Fortunately I have amazing friends and family surrounding me.)

My children are happy and healthy. I am happy and healthy. We are surrounded by the positive influences of the people we love, who love us in return for being who we are. This year I am going to teach my daughter that she does not need to change herself for anyone. It took me a long time to realize this and I hope that by learning from my trials and tribulations it will not take her nearly as long. 

So here I am, ready to plunge forward into whatever adventure awaits me....Look out 2012. Here I come!